4 Steps That Will Change the Atmosphere of Relationships with Spring

Emotional residues and communication accidents accumulated throughout the winter prove that relationships, just like closed spaces, need ventilation. Couple Therapist Dr. Psk. Sevilay Abudaram explains that this natural life energy brought by spring is a unique opportunity to get rid of the burdens in relationships and how the "buts" and "if onlys" in relationships can be transformed.

Resentments accumulated in the pace of daily life, unexpressed expectations and repetitive arguments can drag couples into a vicious communication cycle over time. Couples Therapist Dr. Psk. According to Sevilay Abudaram, the feeling of renewal and energy that spring brings offers an important opportunity for couples to realize and transform these burdens that have accumulated in their relationships. Often, couples look solely for the cause of recurring arguments or disturbing behavior in their partners. However, the problems experienced in a healthy relationship dynamic are mostly fueled by mutual interactions. Therefore, a solution is only possible with the awareness of both parties. Abudaram emphasizes that talking openly about the problems in the relationship instead of covering them up, and allowing both parties to see their own part, is decisive for the future of the relationship.

4 Steps to Change the "Air" of Your Relationship

Dr. emphasizes the importance of being willing to change the parties that make the relationship dysfunctional. Psk. Sevilay Abudaram summarizes this process under the following 4 basic headings: 

1. Capture the Energy of Change: Use the fresh energy created by spring as fuel to solve problems in your relationship and find common ground. This energy provides an opportunity to recognize and transform toxic cycles in your relationship.

2. Proceed with Responsibility:View the relationshipas an area of ​​interaction. “What can I do better in this painting?” Take a constructive stance with the question. Recognizing that both parties contribute to the creation of toxic parties is critical to the transformation of the relationship.

3. Clarify Your Inner Needs: Name your own desires and limits. First understanding what makes you feel valuable within yourself allows you to clarify what you expect from your partner. For example, seeing value for you might mean greeting you when you return from work instead of flowers. 

4. Maintain Boundaries and Share:Share your expectations honestly with your partner to create a balanced foundation where the needs of both parties are met. Determining your own internal boundaries replaces the 'what ifs' in the relationship with shared happiness.

“The Definition of Feeling Valuable is Specific to You” 

Emphasizing that the problems experienced in a relationship are often not caused by the behavior of a single person, Couples Therapist Dr. Psk. Sevilay Abudaram “Couples can act in an interaction cycle that triggers each other without realizing it. For this reason, it is of great importance to talk openly about the feelings and expectations that create discomfort in the relationship. When a person can first define his own needs and the situations that make him feel valuable, he can express more clearly what he expects from his partner. In order to clarify your expectations from your partner, you must first find the equivalent of the concept of 'feeling valuable' within yourself. Maybe feeling valued for you is not when your partner sends you flowers, but when he picks you up from your office on a busy working day. First, he "When you clarify your inner needs and happiness criteria, the boundaries in your relationship are automatically drawn and shared happiness replaces 'I wish's. Thus, you can realize your own value and ensure that your relationship with your partner progresses in a healthy and balanced way." He made a statement.